Preventing regret: Alice’s dilemma Robert and Alice met through an online dating service. He lives in Minnesota, and she lives in Alabama. Alice’s husband divorced her seven years ago, saying they had grown apart and their lives were on two different paths (he was not a Christian). Robert’s wife was killed in a traffic accident two years ago. Both are committed Christians, … [Read more...]
“Pastor, I’m a failure”
My first marriage failed because I was unfaithful to my wife,” shares Michael. “I’m very prone to wanting to go back and beat myself up for that. That was a horrible mistake. I know God is a grace-filled God. He still loves me and has forgiven me, and my first wife has forgiven me. But that’s an area where I struggle. I still think about my failure quite a bit. That’s a vicious … [Read more...]
“Should I try to forget my past?”
As a former pastor and as an equipper of pastors, people often ask me the important question, “Should I try to forget my past?” When hurting people in our congregation and community ask us that question, how can we respond in a compassionate, biblical way? First, we can respond with a one-word answer. “No.” Then we can respond with a blog-size answer. Being pastors, we could … [Read more...]
Helping people who’ve made their suffering worse
In the midst of pain, people are vulnerable and more susceptible to making choices that make their current suffering even worse. The problem is, they don’t realize this. They’re preoccupied with the immediate pain and finding relief. They are hurting, they react to the hurt, they make choices in an effort to relieve the hurt, and they can get stuck in the cycle of troubling … [Read more...]