In part 1 of this case study, Dr. Les Carter outlined how to counsel “Bob and Jane” through the discovery process after Bob’s infidelity was revealed and what signs indicate a couple is ready to begin a restoration process. In this article, Dr. Carter describes typical issues couples must focus on to rebuild a new relationship and how to follow up with a couple when formal … [Read more...]
Magnetic mediocrity: Why women settle for the wrong guy, and what to do about it
When we counsel a couple separating or working through the wreckage of divorce, it’s not unusual for a pastor to think, “If only this could have been dealt with sooner—before it got so bad.” Let’s take it from the beginning. Not the beginning of the marital issues or even the beginning of the marriage. Go all the way back to the moment a couple starts dating, and you … [Read more...]
Divorce-proof: Helping young couples win at marriage
Young married couples in your church are more likely to get divorced than any other age group. The most recent research by the Pew Research Center shows the divorce rate between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-nine is the highest of any demographic, although it has declined since 1990. When researching my book, Making Love Last, I discovered that about 20 percent of … [Read more...]
Spotting domestic abuse
John and Carol were in counseling for over a year. Their presenting problem was identified as communication issues and difficulties agreeing on how to discipline their teenage son. John was a deacon in their church and managed security for a large corporation. Carol was a homemaker. They were married seventeen years, their son just turned fifteen, and they had two younger … [Read more...]
10 indicators of successful, domestic-abuse counseling
In this reprinted article, counselor Leslie Vernick responds to a tricky question about “progress” after domestic abuse has been confronted. We trust you will benefit from her counsel to this woman. Consider how your conclusions about successful counseling of conflicted couples compare to hers. A question for Leslie Can you give suggestions as to what to look for … [Read more...]