Counsel in a man’s heart is deep water; but a man of understanding draws it out.” (Prov. 20:5 HCSB) One of the hardest tools I learned in my graduate studies was the art of silence. For many of us, when we are in a conversation with another person, silence is so AWKWARD. Our instinct is to try to fill it quickly! To avoid silence, we ask questions. We try to relate by … [Read more...]
Helping the traumatized
Our God describes a good shepherd when He says, “I will feed My flock and … lead them to rest.… I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick” (Ezek. 34:15–16 NASB). As pastors you are shepherds of God’s sheep. It is an eternally significant task and often fraught with difficulties. One of the crucial things necessary for doing your … [Read more...]
Don’t try to fix people
When you put people into care ministry responsibilities (leading a care ministry group or providing one-on-one support), many of them are apprehensive that they won’t know what to say when caring for hurting people. In many ways that’s a good thing. You don’t want to empower people who overestimate their care ministry gifting and skills. A lot of people in your congregation can … [Read more...]
Why people resist biblical counsel and how to help them
If you’ve been in ministry for a while, I’m sure you’ve encountered hurting people who resist biblical counsel. They are quick to say something like, “Yeah, I know that, but ...” Assuming relevant Scripture is offered, why wouldn’t a Christian be eager to receive God’s Word? Here are some possible reasons. The person might have been misunderstood If you fail to get a … [Read more...]
Safe person: How to respond when people open up to you
Most people like to help others and that is a good thing, because we are surrounded by hurting people every day. They may be in your small group or Bible study, over your backyard fence, or in line at the store. The people in your circle of influence may share with you the difficulties and trials they have going on in their lives because their burden is too heavy to bear … [Read more...]