Bob and Jane are in their fifties. They’ve been married for over twenty-five years and have college-age children. Lately Jane has begun to wonder if something is going on in Bob’s life. He’s been more evasive, more distant; he doesn’t seem very interested in her. Recently she’s been more eager to connect sexually than he has been, which has not been their history. Jane is … [Read more...]
Pastoral care and refuge for rape victims
In this article we follow Tory Flynn’s heart-wrenching story of being raped and the unexpected aftermath that God orchestrated in her life. As we hear from Tory (indented text), we also receive expert commentary from Dr. Diane Langberg, a specialist in ministering to people who have been traumatized. Tory’s story begins I was twenty-one and a senior in college. I went … [Read more...]
How to restore broken marriages after an affair, part 2
In part 1 of this case study, Dr. Les Carter outlined how to counsel “Bob and Jane” through the discovery process after Bob’s infidelity was revealed and what signs indicate a couple is ready to begin a restoration process. In this article, Dr. Carter describes typical issues couples must focus on to rebuild a new relationship and how to follow up with a couple when formal … [Read more...]
5 critical missteps in helping self-harmers
When we think about the issue of self-harm, most of us take a step back in confusion. Why would anyone willingly want to inflict pain on themselves? Isn’t that dangerous? What would I do if I encountered someone with that struggle? A few months ago, I shared about why people engage in self-harm behaviors and how to help them stop. In particular, that article touched on … [Read more...]
Magnetic mediocrity: Why women settle for the wrong guy, and what to do about it
When we counsel a couple separating or working through the wreckage of divorce, it’s not unusual for a pastor to think, “If only this could have been dealt with sooner—before it got so bad.” Let’s take it from the beginning. Not the beginning of the marital issues or even the beginning of the marriage. Go all the way back to the moment a couple starts dating, and you … [Read more...]
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