In my practice as a Christian counselor, I counsel a lot of men who have hurt their wives—emotionally, verbally, or even physically. Every counselor who has worked with a couple in an abusive marriage knows how often Christian men will misuse the teaching of 1 Peter 3:1–6 to manipulate, control, and dominate their wives. Sadly, many Christian men haven’t thought much, if at … [Read more...]
Helping people who feel like impostors
Recently we interviewed Jon Noto, community life pastor at Willow Creek North Shore in the Chicago, IL, area. We took the opportunity to ask him about “impostor syndrome.” 1 What is the “impostor syndrome”? The phrase describes the experience of someone who is unable to internalize or accept his or her accomplishments, and there’s a consistent fear of being exposed. … [Read more...]
When teens struggle with their faith
We asked pastoral counselor Brad Hambrick this question: “What counsel would you give to the parents of a teenage daughter who announces, ‘I don’t think I want to be a Christian anymore’?” We thought his response would be especially valuable to youth pastors or youth leaders who might be having this sort of conversation with a teenager. Be sure to listen to her reasons … [Read more...]
Changing ideas about the cause of depression
A good deal of recent research has been published that is really interesting to anyone involved in medicine and Christian counseling. Some of it takes commonly held ideas about the cause and treatment of depression and turns them upside down.1 Other articles give some encouragement about the role of Christian counseling in helping those who struggle with sadness and depression. … [Read more...]
Preaching or counseling?
In pastoral ministry, are preaching and counseling complementary ways of proclaiming Christ? Is one more important than the other? Or is one essential and the other less so? Seminary students and pastors are by no means unanimous in their answers. Definitions matter, especially here. Preaching, as I am using it, is public ministry—the public proclamation of Jesus—in which … [Read more...]
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