When we counsel a couple separating or working through the wreckage of divorce, it’s not unusual for a pastor to think, “If only this could have been dealt with sooner—before it got so bad.” Let’s take it from the beginning. Not the beginning of the marital issues or even the beginning of the marriage. Go all the way back to the moment a couple starts dating, and you … [Read more...]
Divorce-proof: Helping young couples win at marriage
Young married couples in your church are more likely to get divorced than any other age group. The most recent research by the Pew Research Center shows the divorce rate between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-nine is the highest of any demographic, although it has declined since 1990. When researching my book, Making Love Last, I discovered that about 20 percent of … [Read more...]
10 indicators of successful, domestic-abuse counseling
In this reprinted article, counselor Leslie Vernick responds to a tricky question about “progress” after domestic abuse has been confronted. We trust you will benefit from her counsel to this woman. Consider how your conclusions about successful counseling of conflicted couples compare to hers. A question for Leslie Can you give suggestions as to what to look for … [Read more...]
3 important environments for marriage preparation
The expense of a wedding might be great ... One of the most consistent themes that emerges in counseling young couples, especially in the critical first five years, is the dramatic difference between the time and money that was invested in their wedding compared to the time and money that was invested in preparing for the rest of their lives together as husband and wife. The … [Read more...]
When does humor signal marital problems?
Have you ever noticed how some things correlate? The amount of air pressure in your tires affects the smoothness of your ride and the gas mileage of your vehicle. The amount of sleep you get influences your memory and mood. The nutrition of your diet affects your susceptibility to certain diseases. Consider another correlation that might not seem so obvious at first: the … [Read more...]
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