If you are a pastor, then I’m sure every once in a while you have a conversation with a Job. You sit down with someone, hear his story, and find it hard to imagine that anything else possibly could be going wrong in his life. It’s natural to feel disheartened by such a story. Certainly, it’s disheartening to live that kind of story. It can feel like nothing is left to be … [Read more...]
How to help people avoid regrets
Preventing regret: Alice’s dilemma Robert and Alice met through an online dating service. He lives in Minnesota, and she lives in Alabama. Alice’s husband divorced her seven years ago, saying they had grown apart and their lives were on two different paths (he was not a Christian). Robert’s wife was killed in a traffic accident two years ago. Both are committed Christians, … [Read more...]
“Pastor, I’m a failure”
My first marriage failed because I was unfaithful to my wife,” shares Michael. “I’m very prone to wanting to go back and beat myself up for that. That was a horrible mistake. I know God is a grace-filled God. He still loves me and has forgiven me, and my first wife has forgiven me. But that’s an area where I struggle. I still think about my failure quite a bit. That’s a vicious … [Read more...]
“Should I try to forget my past?”
As a former pastor and as an equipper of pastors, people often ask me the important question, “Should I try to forget my past?” When hurting people in our congregation and community ask us that question, how can we respond in a compassionate, biblical way? First, we can respond with a one-word answer. “No.” Then we can respond with a blog-size answer. Being pastors, we could … [Read more...]
“Pastor, why in the world should I keep trusting God?”
God is like an elevator; He lets people down—at least that’s what many people I’ve met would say. In my work for Church Initiative, building curricula to help suffering people, I’ve interviewed a number of people who’ve lost loved ones, have been betrayed by lovers, misunderstood, misrepresented, and mistreated in dozens of ways. And I’ve noticed that quite a few of them have … [Read more...]