A church member or counselee sits down with his pastor. He opens his mouth to share his burdens and struggles. So, what thoughts are going through the wise pastor’s head as the person begins to speak? He’s thinking ... 1. I’ll give a better response if I listen first Wise pastors know the more information they gather from a person, the better response they’ll be able … [Read more...]
Helping those living with a narcissist
CareLeader.org asked me a series of questions about narcissistic (extremely self-centered) people and the challenges of living with a narcissist. This information will help you better understand the hurting person who comes to you for help, and how to guide him or her in communicating with a narcissistic spouse. What is narcissism? Narcissism is defined as a personality … [Read more...]
When to interrupt someone
Volunteers in pastoral care ministries are generally the most caring people in our churches. While their big hearts help support people well, they bring challenges, too. Volunteers might be hesitant to interrupt. They may question their judgment on what situations merit interruption. Coaching your leaders on the types of circumstances to interrupt will help give them the … [Read more...]
Confessions of a poor listener
Time is precious; I’m sure you agree. Only so many hours in a day to get everything done—attending a men’s Tuesday morning Bible study, getting ready for Wednesday’s prayer meeting and fellowship meal, studying for Sunday’s sermon, exorcising the copier’s demons, etc. So, when Mrs. Smith “drops in” to see how I’m doing, surely you can appreciate the challenge I face. Mrs. Smith … [Read more...]
Why pastors should encourage couples to be friends
What fuels a strong, resilient, enjoyable marriage? Most people would immediately answer with suggestions like better communication and the ability to resolve conflicts. As important as those skills are, it is actually much simpler than that. According to marriage and relationship expert John Gottman, it boils down to one thing: friendship! Why is friendship so … [Read more...]
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