Women in your congregation who have been abused, assaulted, molested, or raped carry a tremendous burden. Without biblical help, these dear women are left to struggle with shame, fear, ragged emotions, difficulty trusting, impaired relationships, regret, self-blame, sexual difficulties, depression, nightmares, and an overwhelming lack of hope. Frequently, abused women find … [Read more...]
Resolving conflict before it starts: Why your relational skills are more vital than you thought
In my thirty years of doing conflict resolution with Peacemaker Ministries, I saw God bring about marvelous reconciliations I never would have dreamed possible. But not all conflicts resolved well. In some cases, relationships were broken, pastors left churches, marriages ended. And even when there was reconciliation, there were often scars that took a long time to heal. … [Read more...]
The emotionally intelligent pastor, part 2: A biblical perspective on emotions
Suppose Tara, age thirty, shares the following story with you: She experienced a breakup with her boyfriend, Derek, about two months ago. She was crushed, because she thought they might eventually get married. Tara describes her extreme disappointment and a desire to move on with her life. She hopes to be happy for Derek when he does find someone else to spend his life with, … [Read more...]
The emotionally intelligent pastor, part 1: How emotionally intelligent are you?
Brent is a twentysomething seminary student who comes for counseling because of a growing concern expressed by his wife, Monica. She thinks he comes across at times as cold or insensitive. Although that is a sufficient reason to seek counseling, she presses even further. Monica argues that since he wants to be a pastor, she is concerned that his emotional cluelessness would be … [Read more...]