Even though people begin to look and act normal after the death of a loved one, grief is their constant companion for a long, long time. And if you are not talking with them about the grief and the story behind it, you may miss opportunities for ministry that can help these individuals make their way through the healing process. Here are five common mistakes pastors make, … [Read more...]
How to equip your leaders to care for grieving people
People who are grieving the death of a loved one need enormous levels of support and encouragement. Since grieving people are often emotionally delicate, it’s important that your deacons and small-group leaders know how to care for them. A wrong word, an oversight, an unintentional offense can harm someone who is grieving and even prompt that person to leave your church. Here … [Read more...]
Grief with a side of guilt: Inside the surprising concerns of the bereaved
When you’re helping grieving Christians, it’s important to remember that they’re doing more than grieving their loved one’s death. They’re also evaluating their response to their loved one’s death. They’re wondering, Am I grieving like a Christian should? Do my feelings of despair indicate a lack of faith? Am I being a bad example to others who look up to me? I believe in what … [Read more...]
This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be: Shepherding through tragic, untimely loss
Most churches are well equipped to help families when they experience expected, chronologically correct deaths. When Grandma Jones, age eighty-eight, “goes to be with Jesus,” certain protocols automatically spring into place. The pastor meets with the family, the prearranged funeral arrangements are utilized, and the obituary the family has been working on for a while is … [Read more...]
First, remember: How looking back can help the grieving move forward
In the end, grief is about how we remember. Memory is powerful. It shapes our lives in many ways. Memory impacts our emotions. Memory shapes the significance we give to current events. Memory influences what we expect from the future. So the effort to grieve well could be reframed as learning to remember in healthy ways. Too often our church members try to define “getting … [Read more...]