In my thirty years of doing conflict resolution with Peacemaker Ministries, I saw God bring about marvelous reconciliations I never would have dreamed possible. But not all conflicts resolved well. In some cases, relationships were broken, pastors left churches, marriages ended. And even when there was reconciliation, there were often scars that took a long time to heal. … [Read more...]
The emotionally intelligent pastor, part 4: Managing your emotions
I was sitting at home on a Saturday talking with my parents, who were visiting from out of state. The phone rang, and I was shocked to hear the reason for the call. On the other end of the phone was a man from church, Don.1 “Jeff, it’s Don. Carol has flipped out. I don’t know what to do.” “Don, what do you mean by ‘flipped out’? What is happening?” “We were having a … [Read more...]
The pastor and emotional intelligence, part 3: The surprising way your emotions affect your thinking
Consider the following scenarios. How are they similar to one another? How are they different from one another? Scenario #1: Cain Murders Abel (Gen. 4:3–9) Scenario #2: Jesus Disrupts Profiteering in the Temple Courtyard (John 2:13–17) In both of these scenarios we read about experiences with anger, and in both cases the anger motivates a strong response … [Read more...]