Chances are that you will rarely, if ever, have someone ask for your help in overcoming perfectionism. Yet perfectionism may be very common in those who seek out your help. If perfectionists rarely ask for help overcoming perfectionism, what might motivate a perfectionist to come to you for help? Perfectionists may approach you seeking help for: their marriage … [Read more...]
Helping the traumatized
Our God describes a good shepherd when He says, “I will feed My flock and … lead them to rest.… I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick” (Ezek. 34:15–16 NASB). As pastors you are shepherds of God’s sheep. It is an eternally significant task and often fraught with difficulties. One of the crucial things necessary for doing your … [Read more...]
“Help, I married the wrong person”
A man or woman comes into your office with a refrain you’ve heard too many times: “Pastor, this marriage isn’t working, and I think it’s best if my spouse and I part ways.” And then come the reasons—excuses—as to why this decision seems best. How will you address the excuses? What can you say that might make a difference? Here are five excuses that I’ve heard from people … [Read more...]
Helping people gain freedom from regret
The pain of regret and the constant nagging of a conscience that knows they’ve sinned and been foolish have the potential of crippling people forever. They know they’ve done wrong, but it’s too late to undo it. Now they must live with the consequences, whatever those may be. But what does living with the consequences look like? Beating themselves up forever? Living in a … [Read more...]
How to help people avoid regrets
Preventing regret: Alice’s dilemma Robert and Alice met through an online dating service. He lives in Minnesota, and she lives in Alabama. Alice’s husband divorced her seven years ago, saying they had grown apart and their lives were on two different paths (he was not a Christian). Robert’s wife was killed in a traffic accident two years ago. Both are committed Christians, … [Read more...]