In my practice as a Christian counselor, I counsel a lot of men who have hurt their wives—emotionally, verbally, or even physically. Every counselor who has worked with a couple in an abusive marriage knows how often Christian men will misuse the teaching of 1 Peter 3:1–6 to manipulate, control, and dominate their wives. Sadly, many Christian men haven’t thought much, if at … [Read more...]
How we organize congregational care
We aren’t a model church by any means, but one of the things we’ve worked on a lot over the past five years is how we do congregational care and oversight. Even though we have a lot to learn, I thought a glimpse at how we do things might help other churches. Obviously, I’m not encouraging you to copy everything we do (though feel free). But maybe some of our trellis work can … [Read more...]
Helping people who feel like impostors
Recently we interviewed Jon Noto, community life pastor at Willow Creek North Shore in the Chicago, IL, area. We took the opportunity to ask him about “impostor syndrome.” 1 What is the “impostor syndrome”? The phrase describes the experience of someone who is unable to internalize or accept his or her accomplishments, and there’s a consistent fear of being exposed. … [Read more...]
When teens struggle with their faith
We asked pastoral counselor Brad Hambrick this question: “What counsel would you give to the parents of a teenage daughter who announces, ‘I don’t think I want to be a Christian anymore’?” We thought his response would be especially valuable to youth pastors or youth leaders who might be having this sort of conversation with a teenager. Be sure to listen to her reasons … [Read more...]
Ministering to the reluctant and the resistant
While many people think the main part of the pastor’s job is simply to preach, the Scriptures tell us that the pastor is also called to shepherd people through the suffering of life. Shepherding people, though, is a difficult thing; it gets messy. Additionally, shepherding people through the difficulties in life can expose two different types of difficult people: The … [Read more...]
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