Brent is a twentysomething seminary student who comes for counseling because of a growing concern expressed by his wife, Monica. She thinks he comes across at times as cold or insensitive. Although that is a sufficient reason to seek counseling, she presses even further. Monica argues that since he wants to be a pastor, she is concerned that his emotional cluelessness would be … [Read more...]
Spotting domestic abuse
John and Carol were in counseling for over a year. Their presenting problem was identified as communication issues and difficulties agreeing on how to discipline their teenage son. John was a deacon in their church and managed security for a large corporation. Carol was a homemaker. They were married seventeen years, their son just turned fifteen, and they had two younger … [Read more...]
Mastering the art of silence
Counsel in a man’s heart is deep water; but a man of understanding draws it out.” (Prov. 20:5 HCSB) One of the hardest tools I learned in my graduate studies was the art of silence. For many of us, when we are in a conversation with another person, silence is so AWKWARD. Our instinct is to try to fill it quickly! To avoid silence, we ask questions. We try to relate by … [Read more...]
Why should you ask church members questions about pop culture?
When you sit down with someone in your church, perhaps someone who is struggling with marital strife due to alcohol abuse or anxiety after a job loss or a prolonged depression, how much time do you take to “enter into the person’s world”? Over the course of pastoral counseling, do you take the time to learn about how the person interacts with popular culture in its various … [Read more...]
What constitutes a pastoral approach?
What does it mean to be “pastoral”? I’m a pastor. Have been for almost fifteen years. I love my job. I get to serve the God I love and work with the things our God loves most deeply: His Word and His church. As a local church pastor, I am 100 percent in favor of being “pastoral.” So long as the word means what the Bible means for it to mean. When I see the adjective … [Read more...]
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