A parent’s desperation “Please fix my child!” Parents may not articulate their desperation quite this way, but it is often the underlying plea when seeking help for their teenager. It is easy to understand this desperation. Whether you are a parent of a teenager or not, you have encountered teenagers who are difficult and challenging. When a teenager struggles with … [Read more...]
How to help church members who take in a rebellious teen relative
Many times when a teen is out of control and the parent is not capable of caring for the child, a family member or other person is called in to help. If a state agency is called in and the agency workers determine a child must be removed from the home, they will usually try to find a relative to care for the child versus putting the child into foster care. When a relative can … [Read more...]
Should the church do counseling?
In my travels over the past twelve years (and fifteen years of campus and pastoral ministry before that), I have had the privilege of talking with countless pastors. Given my obvious interest in pastoral care, I regularly get asked a simple but basic question from people in ministry. It is then followed by an interesting statement: “Should I really try to ‘counsel’ people, or … [Read more...]
Conflict resolution: When you only have part of the story
As Proverbs 18:17b says, “The first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines.” Or as my friend Daniel likes to say, “There’s no pancake so thin that it doesn’t have two sides.” For example, you’ve probably counseled: A parent whose teenage son refuses to come in to meet with you A church member who has conflict with out-of-state … [Read more...]
How pastors can help people renew their minds
Pastor Mark found himself becoming frustrated as he talked with Jeremy about what was going on in the young man’s life. Jeremy had recently married Hannah. Jeremy and Hannah dated in college, but seven months into their marriage, Hannah was upset with Jeremy’s behavior. He had become more “inconsiderate” toward her and more “insensitive” to her emotionally. Jeremy: An … [Read more...]
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