I will never measure up.” “I can’t do this. I won’t be successful!” “I sense impending doom; it’s out there, and it’s coming to get me.” You might think this sounds like the thinking of a procrastinator or someone who won’t take a risk. But these are the common thoughts of perfectionists who fear failure. They often don’t speak with confidence, and more than likely … [Read more...]
5 ways to help hurting, lonely people through the holidays
Is it New Year’s yet? I just want this year to be over.” While many of us have been rushing around the past few weeks getting ready to celebrate the birth of our Savior, others are experiencing tremendous loneliness. They have been trudging through the holidays just waiting for the new year to be ushered in. Many of these lonely and hurting people will be sitting in your … [Read more...]
Encouraging people to open up after trauma
The word trauma means “wound,” so a trauma is a wound to the mind, the heart, and the soul. Sometimes it’s a wound to the body as well. But it is a wound to the whole person, and it happens when suffering overwhelms what we would consider normal human coping. We all deal with stress in our lives, and we have ways of managing that, but trauma goes beyond that. It would … [Read more...]
Helping those who are angry with God
Let’s begin with a case study. Todd, a middle-aged divorced man, says he is angry with God because, essentially, his life is falling apart. His wife left him for another man; his only child—a twenty-five-year-old son—is not very responsive to him anymore, and a stray dog recently killed his cat, which he thought was the only creature that seemed to love him. His life has not … [Read more...]
Helping PTSD sufferers
Consider the following scenarios that someone in your congregation might face: James narrowly survives a terrorist attack. Janette witnesses a rape or murder. Melody is told that her child was killed in a car accident. Any of these events can count as traumatic events (in the technical use of that term) if these individuals respond to those events with emotions of intense fear, … [Read more...]