Let’s begin this discussion by placing the question in the correct category—whether an individual chooses to use psychiatric medication in his struggle with mental illness is a wisdom decision, not a moral decision. If someone is thinking, “Would it be bad for me to consider medication? Is it a sign of weak faith? Am I taking a shortcut in my walk with God?” then he is asking … [Read more...]
Counseling: Deciding where to begin
In life and counseling, finding the starting point can be difficult. Life is fluid enough that identifying where to begin with a life-dominating or complex struggle can feel like finding the beginning of a circle. In order to help you with this very important question, a five-level triage progression is outlined below. A struggle in one of the higher categories may have many … [Read more...]
10 ways to be certain your pastoral care is helpful
When we care for one another wisely, three things should happen: (a) the person being cared for should be blessed, (b) the love of Christ should become more tangible, and (c) our faith should grow. Sometimes our attempts at caring can be done unwisely, resulting in unintended consequences: (a) the person being cared for is enabled, (b) the love of Christ is misrepresented, … [Read more...]
Is your church a safe place for people who experience same-sex attraction?
Imagine if you attended a church where your life struggle was never mentioned as an area to receive care, and, if it was mentioned, your struggle was the adversarial portion of a culture war commentary. How would your week-to-week experience of church be different? How would you hear words like “community” or “family of God”? For church leaders, step one is to realize that … [Read more...]
First, remember: How looking back can help the grieving move forward
In the end, grief is about how we remember. Memory is powerful. It shapes our lives in many ways. Memory impacts our emotions. Memory shapes the significance we give to current events. Memory influences what we expect from the future. So the effort to grieve well could be reframed as learning to remember in healthy ways. Too often our church members try to define “getting … [Read more...]