Longtime church members Scott and Alyssa make a beeline for you in the church parking lot after services. Alyssa’s eyes are red, and Scott’s movements seem almost frantic. Without even knowing the details, your heart goes out to this couple. Scott wastes no time. “Our son, David, just told us he’s an atheist.” He exhales quickly while his expression pops wide in disbelief. … [Read more...]
Counseling someone considering suicide: Know the myths, risks, and responses
When he comes into your office, his hopelessness is clear. Jon doesn’t see a future for his life. The car accident, the pile of medical bills, and his marriage falling apart weigh heavily on him. He has met with a support group, but the pain seems only to intensify. He is looking for a way out and thinks taking his own life is the only option left. How do you help him? What … [Read more...]
The emotionally intelligent pastor, part 4: Managing your emotions
I was sitting at home on a Saturday talking with my parents, who were visiting from out of state. The phone rang, and I was shocked to hear the reason for the call. On the other end of the phone was a man from church, Don.1 “Jeff, it’s Don. Carol has flipped out. I don’t know what to do.” “Don, what do you mean by ‘flipped out’? What is happening?” “We were having a … [Read more...]
“Complicated grief” and how a church can help
What is “complicated grief”? For a grieving person, grief is the 24/7 awareness of the tragedy that’s befallen him or her. It’s the thought that keeps running through that person’s mind, saying, “My wife died, my husband died, my daughter died.” The person can still function but carries the grief wherever he or she goes. It still lingers without much movement or progress two … [Read more...]
10 ways to pastor adoptive parents and those considering adoption
There are many ways that you can express your pastoral care for those considering adoption and those who have adopted already. As an adoptive father and former pastor, I offer a few thoughts on how to help adoption become a biblically based, heart-led, missional movement in your church and not merely another program on your church’s list. 1. Develop your own heart for the … [Read more...]
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