Jim was introduced earlier this week in Responding to Relapse: A Pastor’s Questions. His wife of eight years, Rachael, had been shocked to discover he’d been regularly viewing Internet porn for about two months. In all their years together, he had seemed like an upright Christian man with strong morals. After Jim had started meeting with their pastor, Paul, he’d stopped viewing … [Read more...]
4 myths about the wives of porn addicts
The world finds lust, fantasy, masturbation, and pornography not only acceptable, but something to be elevated and encouraged, because they’ve embraced the belief that if anyone is being hurt, it’s only the person looking at porn. This is a lie. A wife is part of the collateral damage that’s resulted from her husband’s addiction. There are four misconceptions that many hold … [Read more...]
5 signs of true repentance in an addict
When I’m counseling and establishing goals for somebody who’s struggling with a drug addiction, or has in the past and is now clean, I really keep it simple. There are just five fruits of repentance that I look for. They’re based on Matthew 22:37–40 (ESV), which says: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is … [Read more...]
Pastoral responses to addicts’ needs
Dr. Mark Shaw, an ordained minister, certified alcohol and drug abuse counselor, and certified biblical counselor, shared valuable insights with me in a recent interview to help pastors who are caring for people with drug addictions.1 1. What initial issues should pastors be aware of when they first hear a person in the church is struggling with a drug addiction? The … [Read more...]
The big question of grief: Who am I now?
Where should we put grief? To what category of struggles does it belong? To what emotional or relational struggles is grief most akin? For a long time I put it in the basket of emotional struggles. I grouped it together with things like depression, anxiety, anger, and apathy. Then, as I was reading Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide by Gary Collins, I noticed that … [Read more...]
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